A letter from Gregory I, pope (590, October)

Translated letter:

Gregory to Theoctista, sister of the emperor. I cannot express in words with what great devotion my mind is humbled before your venerability, yet I do not strive to express it, because even as I am silent you read in your heart what you perceive of my devotion. Yet I marvel that, in this present circumstance of pastoral duty, in which in the role of the episcopate I have been led back to the world, in which I attend to so many great cares of the earth as I certainly do not recall ever having attended to zealously in secular life, you have withdrawn your kindnesses formerly bestowed upon me. For I have lost the deep joys of my peace, and though outwardly I appear to have ascended, inside I am sinking. Whence I deplore that I have been driven far from the face of my creator. For I tried daily to be beyond the world, beyond the flesh, to drive away from the mind’s eyes all the apparitions of the body, to see heavenly joys immaterially, and not with words alone, but panting from the depths of my heart for the vision of God, I said: My heart has said to you: “I sought your face, your face, Lord, I will seek” [Psal. 26:8]. Moreover, desiring nothing in this world, fearing nothing, I seemed to stand on a certain summit of things, so that I believed that, with God promising, what I had learned from the prophet had been nearly fulfilled in me: “I will raise you above the heights of the earth” [Isa. 58:14]. For he is raised above the heights of the earth who scorns, with contempt of the mind, those things of the present world that seem to be exalted and glorious. But suddenly driven from the apex of things by the whirlwind of this temptation, I fell headlong into fears and anxieties, because even if I fear nothing for myself, nonetheless I dread greatly for those who have been entrusted to me. On every side I am shaken by waves of affairs and oppressed by tempests, such that I say rightly: “I have come into the depth of the sea, and a tempest has overwhelmed me” [Psal. 68:3]. After (my) duties I long to return to the heart, but shut out of it by vain commotions of thoughts, I cannot return. Therefore because of this, what is within me has become distant from me, such that I cannot obey the word of the prophecy that says: “Return, transgressors, to the heart” [Isai. 46:8]. But oppressed by foolish thoughts, I am driven only to exclaim: “Yet my heart has abandoned me” [Gen. 29]. I loved the beauty of the contemplative life like a Rachel, barren yet perceptive and beautiful, who, even if she is less fertile through her repose, yet she sees the light more keenly. But, by what judgment I do not know, at night I was coupled with Lia, that is the active life, fertile but dim-sighted, perceiving less though producing more. I hastened to sit with Mary at the feet of the Lord to receive words from his lips, and behold I am forced to serve with Martha in the outer dwellings, to be occupied with many things. Once I had driven out of me a legion of demons, as I believed, I wanted to forget those whom I knew and rest at the feet of the Savior, and behold it is said to me, unwilling and yet constrained: “Return to your house and announce what great things the lord has done for you” [Marc 5:19]. But who, among so many earthly cares, can preach the miracles of God, when it is already difficult for me even to recall them? For I see myself, overwhelmed in this honor by a tumult of worldly affairs, in those about whom it is written: “When they were lifted up you cast them down” [Psal. 73:18]. It did not say: You cast them down after they were lifted up, but while they were lifted up, because all the wicked, while propped up by worldly honor, appear to rise outwardly, (but) inwardly they fall. Thus that raising is downfall, because while they were propped up by false glory they were emptied of true glory. Hence it says again: “Disappearing they will vanish like smoke” [Psal 36:20]. Indeed smoke fades by rising and vanishes by dispersing itself. Indeed it happens thus when present happiness accompanies the life of a sinner, because where it appears he is exalted, thence it results that he is not. Hence again it is written: “My God, make them like a wheel” [Psal. 82:14]. Indeed a wheel from the posterior part is raised up (while) it lowers in front. Moreover, the things behind are for us the good things of the present world, which we abandon, but things ahead are eternal and lasting, toward which we are called, as Paul witnesses, who says: “Having forgotten those things that are behind, stretching myself forth to those that are ahead” [Phil. 3:13]. Therefore when a sinner has gone forward in the present life, he is made like a wheel because falling in front, he is raised from behind. For when in this life he receives glory that he [must] forsake, he falls from that which comes after this. Yet there certainly are many who know how to manage outward successes such that by no means do they fall inwardly on account of them. Whence it is written: “God does not abandon the mighty since he himself is also mighty” [Job 36:5]. And Solomon says: “And the wise one will possess governments” [Prov 1:5]. But these things are difficult for me both because they are extremely burdensome, and the mind does not manage suitably what it does not accept. Behold the most serene lord emperor has commanded that a monkey become a lion. And to be sure, through his command he can be called a lion, but he cannot become a lion. Whence it is necessary that he who entrusted the ministry of virtue to a weak man impute all my faults and negligences not to me but to his compassion.1

Original letter:

Gregorius Theoctisti Sorori Imperatoris. Mens mea vestrae venerationi quanta devotione substernitur, explere verbis nequeo, nec tamen me prodere laboro, quia et me tacente in vestro corde legitis, quid de mea devotione sentiatis. Miror autem, quod in me conlatas dudum continentias vestras ex hac moderna pastoralis officii continentia distraxistis, in qua sub colore episcopatus ad saeculum sum reductus, in qua tantis terrae curis inservio, quantis me in vita laica nequaquam deservisse reminiscor. Alta enim quietis meae gaudia perdidi et intus corruens ascendisse exterius videor. Unde me a conditoris mei facie longe expulsum deploro. Conabar namque cotidie extra mundum, extra carnem fieri, cuncta fantasmata corporis ab oculis mentis abigere et superna gaudia incorporaliter videre, et non solis vocibus, sed medullis cordis ad Dei speciem anhelans, dicebam: 'Tibi dixit cor meum, quaesivi vultum tuum, vultum tuum Domine requiram’ [Ps.26:8]. Nil autem in hoc mundo appetens, nil pertimescens, videbar mihi in quodam rerum vertice stare, ita ut in me pene impletum crederem, quod pollicente Domino ex propheta didicissem: 'Sustollam te super altitudines terrae' [Isa.58:14]. Super altitudines enim terrae sustollitur, qui et ipsa, quae alta ac gloriosa praesentis videntur saeculi, per mentis despectum calcat. Sed repente a rerum vertice temptationis huius turbine impulsus ad timores pavoresque corrui, quia etsi mihi nil timeo, eis tamen, qui mihi commissi sunt, multum formido. Undique causarum fluctibus quatior ac tempestatibus deprimor, ita ut recte dicam: 'Veni in altitudinem maris et tempestas demersit me' [Ps.68:3]. Redire post causas ad cor desidero, sed vanis ab eo cogitationum tumultibus exclusus redire non possum. Ex hoc ergo mihi longe factum est, quod intra me est, ita ut oboedire nequeam prophetiae voci, qua dicitur: 'Redite praevaricatores ad cor' [Isa.46:8]. Sed stultis pressus cogitationibus, solummodo exclamare compellor: 'Et cor meum dereliquit me' [Ps.39:13]. Contemplativae vitae pulchritudinem velut Rachelem dilexi sterilem, sed videntem ac pulchram, quae etsi per quietem suam minus generat, lucem tamen subtilius videt. Sed, quo iudicio nescio, Lia mihi in nocte coniuncta est, activa videlicet vita, fecunda sed lippa, minus videns quamvis amplius pariens. Sedere ad pedes Domini cum Maria festinavi, verba oris eius percipere, et ecce cum Martha compellor in exterioribus ministrare, erga multa satagere. Expulsa a me ut credidi legione daemonum, volui oblivisci quos novi et ad Salvatoris pedes quiescere, et ecce mihi nolenti atque compulso dicitur: 'Revertere in domum tuam et adnuntia, quanta tibi fecerit Dominus' [Mark 5:19]. Sed quis inter tot terrenas curas valeat Dei miracula praedicare, cum iam mihi difficile sit saltim recolere? Pressum namque in hoc honore tumultu saecularium negotiorum ex eis me video , de quibus scriptum est: 'Deiecisti eos, dum allevarentur' [Ps.72:18]. Neque dixit: Deiecisti eos postquam levati sunt, sed dum allevarentur, quia pravi quique, dum temporali honore suffulti foras videntur surgere, intus cadunt. Allevatio ergo ipsa ruina est, quia dum gloria falsa subnixi sunt a gloria vera evacuantur Hinc iterum dicit: 'Deficientes ut fumus deficient' [Ps.36:20]. Fumus quippe ascendendo deficit et sese dilatando evanescit. Sic videlicet fit cum peecatoris vitam praesens felicitas comitatur, quia unde ostenditur, ut altus sit, inde agitur, ut non sit. Hinc rursus scriptum est: 'Deus meus pone illos ut rotam' [Ps.82:14]. Rota quippe ex posteriori parte attollitur, in anterioribus cadit. Posteriora autem nobis sunt bona praesentis mundi, quae relinquimus, anteriora vero sunt aeterna et permanentia, ad quae vocamur, Paulo attestante, qui ait: 'Quae retro oblitus, in ea quae sunt in priora extendens me' [Phil.3:13]. Peccator ergo cum in praesenti vita profecerit, ut rota ponitur, quia in anterioribus corruens ex posterioribus elevatur. Nam cum in hac vita gloriam percipit, quam relinquit, ab illa cadit, quae post hanc venit'. Et quidem multi sunt, qui sic exteriores provectus regere sciunt, ut per eos nequaquam interius corruant. Unde scriptum est: 'Deus potentes non abicit, cum et ipse sit potens' [Job 36:5]. Et per Salomonem dicitur: 'Et intelligens gubernacula possidebit' [Prov.1:5]. Sed mihi haec difficilia sunt, quia et valde onerosa, et quod mens non recipit, congrue non disponit. Ecce serenissimus domnus imperator fieri simiam leonem iussit. Et quidem pro iussione illius vocari leo potest, fieri autem leo non potest. Unde necesse est, ut omnes culpas ac neglegentias meas non mihi sed suae pietati deputet, qui virtutits ministerium infirmo commisit.

Historical context:

Gregory writes about his torments as a spiritual man who has to deal with worldly matters and asks for her sympathy and comfort, which she has apparently recently withheld from him.

Scholarly notes:

1. This translation was provided by Ashleigh Imus.

Printed source:

Gregorii I Papae Registum Epistolarum, ed. Paulus Ewald and Ludovicus Hartmann (Berlin: Weidmann, 1887-91, repr. 1978), 1.5, 5-7 .

Date:

590, October