A letter from Jerome (384)

Translated letter:

1. Who will give water to my head and a fountain of tears to my eyes, and I shall weep not, as Jeremiah says [Jer.9:1], for the wounds of my people nor, like Jesus, for suffering Jerusalem, but I shall weep for holiness, mercy, innocence, chastity. I shall weep for all virtues equally in the death of one being, not that she is to be mourned who has gone away but that we must grieve that we are cut off from seeing such a one. Who could recall with dry eyes the young woman of twenty years raising the standard of the cross with such ardent faith that she grieved more for her lost virginity than for the death of her husband? Who could recount without sobs the vehemence of her praying, the brilliance of her tongue, the tenacity of her memory, the sharpness of her thought? If you heard her speaking Greek, you would swear she did not know Latin, if her tongue turned to Roman sounds, her speech was in no way foreign. Now truly, what all Greece admired in Origen, she so conquered the difficulties of Hebrew in a few not months but days that she rivaled her mother in learning and singing psalms. The humility of her dress did not, as in so many, reveal a swollen mind, but was consistent with her inner mind. There was no difference in style between the lady and her virgin servants, except that one recognized her more easily because she moved less self-consciously. Her step was unsteady from illness and her thin neck scarcely held up her pale and trembling face, and yet she always had a prophet or gospel in her hands. My face is covered with tears, sobs take over my voice and my emotions do not allow my tongue to move. When a high fever burned her holy body and those close to her encircled her bed, half-alive she spoke these last words: "pray the lord Jesus to excuse me that I could not do what I wished to." Be sure, my Blesilla, we are confident; you proved the truth of what we say, that "a conversion is never [too] late." This word was declared first to the thief: "amen I say to you, you will be with me today in paradise" [Luke 23:43]. After her soul had put aside the burden of the flesh to fly back to its creator and ascended to its old place after a long pilgrimage, the funeral rites were prepared and a gold veil spread on the bier with the order of nobles preceding. It seemed to me then that she called from heaven "I do not know this dress; this is not my manner of dress, this adornment is alien to me." 2. But what do we do? We weep the tears we would prevent in her mother. I confess my affections, this whole book is written with tears. Jesus wept for Lazarus for he loved him. He is not the best consoler whose own sighs overwhelm him, whose words broken by his inner distress sweat out in tears. Jesus is witness whom Blesilla now follows, my Paula, his holy angels are witness, whose company she enjoys, I suffer the same torments of grief that you do, a father in spirit, a nurse by love, and I say: "may that day perish in which I was born" [Jer.20:14] and "woe is me, my mother, why did you bear me, a man judged by and distanced from the whole world?" [Jer.15:10] and "you are just, lord, but truly I shall speak judgments to you: why is it that the way of sinners prospers?" [Jer.12:1] and "my feet had almost stumbled, seeing the peace of sinners and I said: `how can God know? is there knowledge in the most high? behold these sinners have gained abundant wealth in the world'" but again: "if I talk in this way I would be lying to a generation of your children" [Ps.72:2-3, 11-12, 15]. Do such floods not strike my mind often? Why do impious old men enjoy the riches of the world? Why is slender youth and innocent childhood stripped before the flower is mature? What is the cause that often children of two or three, still nursing at their mother's breast are seized by a demon, filled with leprosy, devoured by jaundice, while in contrast impious men, adulterers, homicides and sacrilegious, are vigorous and, secure in their health, blaspheme against God. Especially if the injustice of the father does not redound on the son and the soul which sinned is the one that dies? But if that old sentence remains that the sins of the fathers should be paid for by the sons, it is wicked to weigh the numerous crimes of an old father against an innocent infant. And I said: "in vain have I been just in my heart and washed my hands among the innocent and been scourged all day" [Ps.72:13-14]. But when I thought this, immediately I spoke with the prophet: "and I understood how I might know; this is a labor in my sight until I enter the sanctuary of God and perceive the latest things" [Ps.72:16-17]. "For the judgments of the lord are a great abyss" [Ps.35:7] and "o the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God, how inscrutable are his judgments and how unsearchable his ways!" [Rom.11:33]. God is good and all things that he, good, made must be good. The bereavement of a husband is inflicted, I weep for what has happened but since it pleases the lord I shall sustain it with patient spirit. A son is taken away, hard indeed, but tolerable, since he who gave it suffered [the same]. If I become blind, the reading of a friend will console me. If deaf ears deny my hearing, I shall be free from vice, I shall think of nothing but the lord. Harsh poverty, cold, feebleness, nudity threaten me but I shall await death and think the evil brief because a better end will follow. Let us consider what that ethical psalm says: "you are just, lord, and your judgment righteous" [Ps.118:137] This he can only say because in everything he suffers, he praises God and imputing adversity to his deserving glories in [God's] mercy. The daughters of Judea exulted in all the judgments of the lord. If Judea means "confession," then every soul confessing belief who says s/he believes in Christ must rejoice in all Christ's judgments. I am healthy, I give thanks to the creator. I am ill, and I praise the will of the lord. For when I am weaker then I am stronger and the virtue/strength of the spirit is perfected in the weakness of the flesh. The apostle suffers something he does not want for which he prays the lord three times. But he answers: "my grace is sufficient for you" [2Cor.12:9] and to humble the pride of revelations a certain reminder of human weakness is set in place like the companion who comes after the chariot of the triumphant saying at each acclamation of the citizens: "remember you are a man." 3. Why should it be hard when it is what must be endured? We grieve that someone is dead, but are we not born to this so we can live eternal? Abraham, Moses, Isaiah, Peter, James, and John, Paul the chosen vessel, and above all the son of God died. And we are indignant that someone leaves the body who is perhaps taken lest malice corrupt his understanding? For his soul was pleasing to God; that is why he hastened to lead him out of the center of iniquity, lest he be led astray by out-of-the-way detours on the long road of life. Let the dead be mourned, but the one whom Gehenna takes, whom Tartarus devours, in punishment of whom eternal fire burns. We, whose exit a crowd of angels accompanies, whom Christ comes to meet, let us be more distressed if we have to inhabit this tabernacle of death longer. As long as we delay here, we are in exile from the lord, let that desire hold us: "alas, that my exile is prolonged; I have lived with the dwellers in Kedar, my soul has long been in exile" [Ps.119:5-6]. If Kedar is darkness and this world is darkness since "the light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not know it" [John 1:5], let us applaud our Blesilla, who has crossed from darkness to light and in the ardor of beginning faith received the crown of work accomplished. What if an early death had seized her thinking of secular desire and — God avert it from his people — the delights of this life, then she should be mourned and wept for with every flood of tears. But now that, with Christ propitious, she was washed in a way with a second baptism barely four months ago and since then lived as though having trampled the world she thought always of the monastery, are you not afraid that the saviour will say to you: "are you angry, Paula, that your daughter has become my daughter? Do you think my judgment wrong and show your ill will with rebellious tears? For you know what I think about you, what I think about yours. You deny yourself food not from zeal of fasting but from grief. I do not like this temperance; this is the fasting of my adversary. "I receive no soul who departs from the body against my will. Foolish philosophy has such martyrs: Zeno, Cleombrotus, or Cato. My spirit rests on no one except the humble, peaceful, and the one who trembles at my words. Is this the monastic life you promised me when separated by dress from other matrons you seemed more religious? The mind that weeps such things is a mind of silk gowns. You would anticipate, you would die, and as if you would not come into my hands, you flee [me] a cruel judge. Jonah fled once, the bold prophet, but he was mine in the depth of the sea. If you believed your daughter was living, you would never weep that she has gone to better things. This is what I ordered through my apostle, that you not be saddened for those who are asleep like the pagans. Blush that you are conquered by a pagan. The handmaid of the devil is better than mine. She thinks that her infidel husband has been translated to heaven, you either do not believe or do not want your daughter to be with me." 4. But you say: "how can you prohibit me grieving when Jacob wept for Joseph in sackcloth and having gathered all those near him would not be consoled by them, saying `I shall descend grieving to my son in hell' [Gen.37:35]? And David wept for Absalom with his head covered, repeating: `my son Absalom, my son Absalon, who will let me die for you, Absalom my son?' [2Kgs:18:83]. Moses, too, and Aaron and other holy men experienced solemn grief." The answer to this is easy: Jacob grieved for the son he thought was killed and had descended into hell saying to him: "I shall descend to my son grieving in hell" because Christ had not yet broken open the gate of paradise nor had his blood extinguished the flaming and turning sword of the cherubim who presided over it — whence Abraham, though in a place of comfort, is nonetheless said to have been in hell with Lazarus — and David justly wept his parricide son, but did not later weep for another little one whom he could not keep alive, since he knew he had not sinned. It is not to be wondered at that Moses and Aaron showed grief in the old way when in the Acts of the apostles with the gospel already gleaming, the brothers of Jerusalem made great mourning for Stephen and that great mourning was not from the grief of the mourners, as you think, but is to be understood as a funereal rite and a large assembly of followers. About Jacob scripture says: "and Joseph went up to bury his father and with him went up all the servants of Pharaoh, the elders of his household and all the elders of the land of Egypt, as well as all the household of Joseph and his brothers" and after a little "both chariots and horsemen went up with him and it was a very great company," and then: "and they held a very great and sorrowful lamentation" [Gen.50:7-10]. This solemn mourning does not require long tears from the Egyptians, but shows the ornateness of the funeral. It is apparent that Aaron and Moses wept in the same way. I can not praise the mysteries of scripture enough or wonder at the divine meaning even in simple words, what it might mean that Moses was mourned and Jesus of Nave [Joshua of Nun], a holy man, was said to be buried but not to be wept. Certainly I state that in Moses, that is in the old law, all were held under the sin of Adam and when they descended to hell tears followed according to the apostle who says: "and death reigned from Adam to Moses even over those who had not sinned" [Rom.5:14]. But with Jesus, that is in the gospel, through whom paradise was opened, joy followed death. Jews still weep today and brood in sackcloth, barefoot and rolling in ashes, and lest they fail in superstition, they take the first food of lentils from the most empty rite of the pharisees showing with such food that they have lost their firstborn. But deservedly, since they do not believe in the resurrection of the lord, they prepare for the advent of Antichirst. But we who clothe ourselves in Christ and become according to the apostle a race of kings and priestly, we ought not sorrow for the dead. And he said, "Moses said to Aaron and to his remaining sons Eleazar and Ithamar: `you will not bare your head and tear your vestments, lest you die and wrath strike the whole synagogue'" [Lev.10:6]. Do not, he says, tear your vestments and show pagan grief, lest you die. Our death is sin. And — what may perhaps seem cruel to some but is necessary to faith — it is written in that same Leviticus how a great priest forbad going to a dead father, mother, brothers or children, lest the soul freed from sacrifices to God and completely occupied in those mysteries might be hindered by some emotion. Is the same not ordered in other words in the gospel, that the disciple not return home and bury his dead father [Matth.8:21-22, Luke 9:59-60]? And about the saints "he shall not go outside and profane the sanctuary of his God, for the holy oil of anointment of his God is upon him" [Lev.21:12]. Certainly after we believe in Christ and, having accepted the oil of his anointment, bear him within us, we should not go out of the temple, that is from Christian purpose, not go out to mix with the unbelieving pagans, but stay always within ministering to the will of the lord. 5. I say these things so that ignorance of scripture does not offer you authority to grieve and you seem to err with reason. And up to now I have spoken as if to a Christian from the crowd. But now, since I know that you have altogether renounced the world and having thrown off and trampled delights, given yourself to daily prayer, fasting, and reading, since you desire to go out from your land and your family following the example of Abraham, to enter the land of promise which the Chaldeans and Mesopotamia left, since you have dispensed all your substance either to the poor or to your children, given yourself dead to the world before death, I wonder that you do those things which, if other women did them, would seem reprehensible. Her conversation, her caresses, her speech, her company, come back to you in memory and you can not bear that you are deprived of them. We do not know the tears of a mother but we seek measure in the grief. If I think [of you as] a parent, I do not reprove what you grieve; if as a Christian woman and nun, mother is shut out from these names. The wound is recent and the softer the touch the more it exacerbates than cures; still what time will lessen can reason not conquer? For Naomi fleeing hunger to the land of Moab lost her husband and sons. But when she was forsaken by their help, Ruth a foreigner did not leave her side. See how much comfort she offered the forsaken one: Christ arose from her seed. Look at Job, how much he bore. And you will see — you who are too delicate — with his eyes raised to heaven in the ruin of his home, the pains of his ulcer, innumerable losses and finally the plots of his wife, that he retained his patience unconquered. I know what you will reply: this happened to him as trial of a just man. Choose from the two which you wish: either you are holy and being tried, or you are a sinner and unjustly seek lesser things than you deserve. Why do I repeat old things? There are contemporary examples. Holy Melania, true nobility of our time among Christians — may the lord let you and me share in her day — when the body of her husband was still warm and not yet buried, she lost two sons at the same time. What I shall say is incredible but not false, as Christ is witness. Who would not expect her then to be frantic with hair dissheveled, dress torn, rending her breast? Not a single tear flowed; she was immobile and, wrapped at the feet of Christ as if she held him, smiled: "I shall serve you more effectively, lord, since you freed me from such a weight." But perhaps she was overcome by others? On the contrary she showed how she scorned them when she left everything she had to her only remaining son and though it was winter, embarked for Jerusalem. 6. Spare, I beg you, spare the daughter already ruling with Christ, spare at least your Eustochium, whose young, still unformed age, almost infancy, is directed by your teaching. The devil rages now, seeing one of your children triumphant; grieving for his wound, he seeks in victory over the remaining [daughter] what he lost in the one who has gone ahead. Great piety towards one's own can be impiety towards God. Abraham happily killed his only son and you complain that one of many has been crowned? I can not say what I shall say without a sigh. When they took you lifeless from the funeral rites, the people murmured among themselves: "is this not what we so often said? She grieves for the daughter killed by fasting because she did not have grandchildren from her second marriage. When will this detestable race of monks be driven from the city, struck with stones, thrown into the water? They seduced a poor matron who did not want to be a nun, as she proved when no pagan ever wept so much for her children." What sorrow do you think Christ felt from these words? How did Satan exult who now, hastening to seize your soul and putting before you enticements of pious grief as the image of your daughter remains before your eyes, desires to kill the mother of the victorious one at the same time he invades the solitude of the sister left behind? I speak not to terrify you but, as the lord is my witness, as if we were before his tribunal I join you in these words. These tears are to be hated as full of sacrilege, very full of unbelief, which have no measure, which bring [you] near to death. You howl and cry out and as if enflamed by torches, you do what you can to kill yourself. But Jesus comes to you merciful and says: "why do you weep? The girl is not dead, but asleep" [Luke 8:52]. Let bystanders laugh; this is the unbelief of Jews. If you wanted to roll about at the tomb of your daughter the angels would thunder: "why do you seek the living with the dead?" [Luke 24:5] Which Mary Magdalene did but after she recognized the voice of the lord calling her, bent over his feet she heard: "do not touch me, for I have not yet ascended to my father" [John 20:17] that is, "you are not worthy to touch him resurrected whom you thought dead in the tomb." 7. What torments do you think our Blesilla now suffers, what anguish does she bear that she sees Christ angry at you? She cries out now to the one mourning: "if ever you loved me, mother, if I sucked at your breasts, if I was formed by your counsels, do not begrudge my glory, do not do what might separate us forever. Do you think I am alone? I have Mary in your place, the mother of the lord. I see many here whom I did not know before — o how much better this company is! I have Anna who once prophesied in the gospel and, that you may rejoice the more, I have achieved the labor of so many years in three months. We have received one palm of chastity. Do you pity me because I have left the world? I sorrow for your [pl.] fate, whom the prison of the world still holds, who battle daily, with wrath, avarice, lust, and various vices alternately drawing you to ruin. If you [sing.] wish to be my mother, take care to please Christ. I do not recognize a mother who displeases my lord." She speaks these and many other things which I do not repeat and prays god for you and for me, I am sure, and obtains mercy for my sins, because I counseled her, I urged her, I took on the envy of her relatives that she might be saved. 8. And so while the spirit governs these limbs, while we enjoy the journey of this life, I pledge, I commit, I promise: my tongue will echo her, my labors will be dedicated to her, my mind will sweat for her. There will be no page that does not sound Blesilla, wherever the memorials of my speech reach, she will travel with my little works. Virgins, widows, monks, priests, will read her fixed in my mind. Who lives with Christ in the heavens will conquer in the mouth of men. The present age will pass, future ages will follow, which will judge without love or envy: her name will be placed between Paula and Eustochium. Never will she die in my books. She will hear me always speaking with her sister, with her mother.

Original letter:

1. Quis dabit capiti meo aquam et oculis meis fontem lacrimarum, et plorabo – non, ut Hieremias ait, uulneratos populi mei nec, ut Iesus, miseram Hierusalem, sed plorabo – sanctitatem, misericordiam, innocentiam, castitatem, plorabo omnes pariter in unius morte uirtutes, non quo lugenda sit illa, quae abiit, sed quod nobis inpatientius sit dolendum, quod talem uidere desiuimus. quis enim siccis oculis recordetur uiginti annorum adulescentulam tam ardenti fide crucis leuasse uexillum, ut magis amissam uirginitatem quam mariti doleret interitum? quis sine singultibus transeat orandi instantiam, nitorem linguae, memoriae tenacitatem, acumen ingenii? si Graece audisses loquentem, Latine eam nescire iurasses; si in Romanum sonum lingua se uerterat, nihil omnino peregrinus sermo redolebat. iam uero, quod in Origene illo Graecia tota miratur, in paucis non dico mensibus, sed diebus ita Hebraeae linguae uicerat difficultates, ut in ediscendis canendisque psalmis cum matre contenderet. humilitas uestium non, ut in plerisque, tumentes animos arguebat, sed cum interiori se mente deiecerat, inter ancillarum uirginum cultum dominamque nihil medium, nisi quod in eo facilius dinoscebatur, quod neglectius incedebat. uacillabat aegrotatione gressus et pallentem trementemque faciem uix collum tenue sustinebat, et tamen aut propheta aut euangelium semper in manibus. lacrimis ora conplentur, singultus occupant uocem et haerentem linguam uiscera commota non laxant: cum sanctum corpusculum febrium ardor excoqueret et semianimis lectulum uallaret circulus propinquorum, haec in extrema uerba mandabat: 'orate dominum Iesum, ut mihi ignoscat, quia inplere non potui, quod uolebam.’ secura esto, mi Blesilla, confidimus; probas uera, quae dicimus: 'numquam est sera conuersio’. uox haec primum dedicata est in latrone: amen dico tibi; hodie mecum eris in paradiso. postquam autem sarcina carnis abiecta ad suum anima reuolauit auctorem et in antiquam possessionem diu peregrinata conscendit, ex more parantur exsequiae et nobilium ordine praeeunte aureum feretro uelamen obtenditur. uidebatur mihi tunc clamare de caelo 'non agnosco uestem; amictus iste non meus, hic ornatus alienus est’. 2. Sed quid agimus? matris prohibituri lacrimas ipsi plangimus. confiteor affectus meos, totus hic liber fletibus scribitur. fleuit Iesus Lazarum, quia amabat eum. non est optimus consolator, quem proprii uincunt gemitus, cuius uisceribus emollitis fracta in lacrimis uerba desudant. testor, mi Paula, Iesum, quem Blesilla nunc sequitur, testor sanctos angelos eius, quorum consortio fruitur, eadem me dolorum perpeti tormenta, quae pateris: patrem esse spiritu, nutricium caritate, et interdum dicere: pereat dies illa, in qua natus sum, et: heu mihi, mater, ut quid me genuisti uirum, qui iudicer et discernar omni terrae? sed et illud: iustus es, domine, uerumtamen iudicia loquar ad te: quid est, quod uia peccatorum prosperatur? et: mei paene moti sunt pedes pacem peccatorum uidens et dixi: quomodo agnouit deus et si est scientia in excelso? ecce isti peccatores et abundantes in saeculo obtinuerunt diuitias. sed rursum illud occurrit: si narrauero sic, ecce generationem filiorum tuorum praeuaricatus sum. numquid et in meam mentem non hic saepius fluctus inliditur? quare senes inpii saeculi diuitiis perfruuntur? quare adulescentia rudis et sine peccato pueritia inmaturo flore exuitur? quid causae est, ut saepe bimuli trimulique et ubera materna lactantes daemonio corripiantur, repleantur lepra, morbo regio deuorentur et e contrario inpii, adulteri, homicidae ac sacrilegi uegeti atque securi de sua in deum sanitate blasphement, praesertim cum iniustitia patris non redundet ad filium et anima, quae peccauerit, ipsa moriatur? aut si manet uetus illa sententia, peccata patrum in filios oportere restitui, iniquum sit longaeui patris innumera delicta innocentem infantiam repensare: et dixi: ergo sine causa iustificaui cor meum et laui inter innocentes manus meas et factus sum flagellatus tota die. sed cum haec cogitarem, statim didici cum propheta: et suscepi, ut cognoscerem; hoc labor est in conspectu meo, donec ingrediar in sanctuarium dei et intellegam in nouissima eorum. iudicia enim domini abyssus multa et: o profundum diuitiarum et sapientiae et scientiae dei, io quam inscrutabilia iudicia eius et inuestigabiles uiae eius! bonus est deus et omnia, quae bonus fecit, bona sint necesse est. mariti orbitas inrogatur: plango, quod accidit, sed quia sic placet domino, aequo animo sustinebo. unicus raptus est filius: durum quidem, sed tolerabile, quia sustulit ille, qui dederat. si caecus fuero, amici me lectio consolabitur. si auditum quoque surdae aures negauerint, uacabo a uitiis; nihil aliud nisi dominum cogitabo. inminebit super haec et dura pauperies, frigus, languor et nuditas: extremam expectabo mortem et breue putabo malum, quod finis melior subsequetur. consideremus, quid ethicus ille psalmus sonet: iustus es, domine, et rectum iudicium tuum. hoc non potest dicere nisi ille, qui ad uniuersa, quae patitur, magnificat deum et suo merito inputans de eius in aduersis clementia gloriatur. exultauerunt enim filiae Iudae in omnibus iudiciis domini. si Iudaea 'confessio’ interpretatur, confitens autem omnis anima credentis est, necesse est, ut, qui se credere dicit in Christo, in omnibus Christi iudiciis gaudeat. sanus sum: gratias refero creatori. langueo: et in hoc laudo domini uoluntatem. quando enim infirmor, tunc fortior sum et uirtus spiritus in carnis infirmitate perficitur. patitur et apostolus aliquid, quod non uult, pro quo ter dominum deprecatur. sed dicitur ei: sufficit tibi gratia mea et ad reuelationum humiliandam superbiam monitor quidam humanae inbecillitatis adponitur in similitudinem triumphantum, quibus in curru retro comes adhaerebat per singulas adclamationes ciuium dicens: 'hominem te memento’. 3. Cur autem durum sit, quod quandoque patiendum est? dolemus quemquam mortuum: ad hoc enim nati sumus, ut maneamus aeterni? Abraham, Moyses, Esaias, Petrus, Iacobus et Iohannes, Paulus, electionis uas, et super omnia dei filius moritur: et nos indignamur aliquem exire de corpore, qui ad hoc forsitan raptus est, ne malitia mutaret intellectum eius? placita enim erat deo anima eius; propter hoc properauit educere eum de media iniquitate, ne longo uitae itinere deuiis oberraret anfractibus. lugeatur mortuus, sed ille quem gehenna suscipit, quem tartarus deuorat, in cuius poenam aeternus ignis exaestuat. nos, quorum exitum angelorum turba comitatur, quibus obuiam Christus occurrit, grauemur magis, si diutius in tabernaculo isto mortis habitemus. quia, quamdiu hic moramur, peregrinamur a domino, illa, illa cupido nos teneat: heu me, quia peregrinatio mea prolongata est; habitaui cum habitantibus Cedar, multum peregrinata est anima mea. si Cedar 'tenebrae’ sunt et mundus iste sunt tenebrae, quia lux lucet in tenebris et tenebrae eam non conprehenderunt, faueamus Blesillae nostrae, quae de tenebris migrauit ad lucem et inter fidei incipientis ardorem consummati operis percepit coronam. reuera, si saeculare desiderium et — quod deus a suis auertat — delicias uitae istius cogitantem mors inmatura rapuisset, plangenda erat et omni lacrimarum fonte deflenda. nunc uero, cum propitio Christo ante quattuor ferme menses secundo quodam modo se propositi baptismo lauerit et ita deinceps uixerit, ut calcato mundo semper monasterium cogitarit, nonne uereris, ne tibi saluator dicat: 'irasceris, Paula, quia filia tua mea facta est filia? indignaris de iudicio meo et rebellibus lacrimis facis inuidiam possidenti? scis enim, quid de te, quid de ceteris tuis cogitem. cibum tibi denegas non ieiuniorum studio, sed doloris. non amo frugalitatem istam; ieiunia haec aduersarii mei sunt, nullam animam recipio, quae nolente me separatur a corpore. tales stulta philosophia martyres habeat: Zenonem, Cleombrotum uel Catonem. super nullum requiescit spiritus meus nisi super humilem et quietum et trementem uerba mea. hoc est, quod mihi monasterium promittebas, quod habitu a matronis ceteris separato tibi quasi religiosior uidebaris? mens, ista quae plangit, uestium sericarum est. interciperis et moreris et, quasi non in meas manus uentura sis, crudelem iudicem fugis. fugerat quondam et Ionas, animosus propheta, sed et in profundo maris meus fuit. si uiuentem crederes filiam, numquam plangeres ad meliora migrasse. hoc est, quod per apostolum meum iusseram, ne de dormientibus in similitudinem gentium tristaremini. erubesce, ethnicae conparatione superaris. melior diaboli ancilla quam mea est. illa infidelem maritum translatum fingit in caelum, tu mecum tuam filiam commorantem aut non credis aut non uis’. 4. Sed dicis: 'quomodo me lugere prohibes, cum et Iacob Ioseph in sacco fleuerit congregatisque ad se omnibus propinquis noluerit consolari dicens: descendam ad filium meum lugens in infernum et Dauid Abessalon operto capite planxerit repetens: filius meus Abessalon, filius meus Abessalon! quia dabit, ut moriar pro te, Abessalon, filius meus?, Moysi quoque et Aaron ceterisque sanctorum sollemnia sit luctus exhibitus?’ perfacilis ad ista responsio est: luxisse Iacob filium, quem putabat occisum, ad quem et ipse erat ad infernum descensurus dicens: descendam ad filium meum lugens in infernum, quia necdum paradisi ianuam Christus effregerat, necdum flammeam illam romphaeam et uertiginem praesidentium cherubin sanguis eius extinxerat — unde et Abraham, licet in loco refrigerii, tamen apud inferos cum Lazaro scribitur —, et Dauid iuste fleuisse filium parricidam, qui alium paruulum, postquam, ut uiueret, inpetrare non potuit, quia sciebat non peccasse, non fleuit. de Moysi uero et Aaron, quod eis ex ueteri more sit planctus exhibitus, non mirandum est, cum et in Actibus apostolorum iam euangelio coruscante Stephano fecerint Hierosolymae fratres planctum magnum et utique planctus magnus non in plangentium exanimatione, ut tu aestimas, sed in pompa funeris et exequiarum frequentia intellegendua sit. denique de Iacob scriptura sic loquitur: et ascendit Ioseph sepelire patrem suum et ascenderunt cum eo omnes pueri Pharao et omnes seniores domus eius et seniores omnes terrae Aegypti et omnis domus Ioseph et fratres eius. et post paululum: et ascenderunt cum eo quadrigae et equites et facta sunt castra grandia nimis. ac deinde: et planxerunt eum planctum magnum et fortem nimis. planctus iste sollemnis non longas Aegyptiis imperat lacrimas, sed funeris monstrat ornatum. iuxta quem modum Aaron quoque et Moysen fletos esse manifestum est. nequeo scripturae satis laudare mysteria et diuinum sensum in uerbis licet simplicibus admirari, quid sibi uelit, quod Moyses plangitur et Iesus Naue, uir sanctus, sepultus refertur et tamen fletus esse non scribitur; nempe illud, quod in Moysi, id est in lege ueteri, omnes sub peccati Adam tenebantur elogio et ad inferos descendentes consequenter lacrimae prosequebantur secundum apostolum, qui ait: et regnauit mors ab Adam usque ad Moysen etiam super eos, qui non peccauerunt; in Iesu uero, id est in euangelio, per quem paradisus est apertus, mortem gaudia prosequuntur. flent usque hodie Iudaei et nudatis pedibus in cinere uolutati sacco incubant ac, ne quid desit superstitioni, ex ritu uanissimo pharisaeorum primum cibum lentis accipiunt uidelicet ostendentes, quali edulio primogenita perdiderint. sed merito, quia in resurrectione domini non credentes antichristi parantur aduentui. nos uero, qui Christum induimus et facti sumus iuxta apostolum genus regium et sacerdotale, non debemus super mortuos contristari. et dixit, inquit, Moyses ad Aaron et Eleazar et Ithamar filios eius, qui relicti erant: caput uestrum non denudabitis et uestimenta uestra non scindetis, ne moriamini et super omnem synagogam ueniat ira. nolite, inquit, scindere uestimenta et luctum exhibere gentilem, ne moriamini. mors nostra peccatum est. et — quod forsitan crudele alicui uideatur, sed fidei necessarium est — in eodem Leuitico scribitur, quomodo sacerdos magnus ad patrem, matrem fratresque uel liberos ire mortuos prohibeatur, ne uidelicet anima dei sacrificiis uacans et tota in illius mysteriis occupata aliquo inpediatur adfectu. nonne aliis uerbis id ipsum in euangelio praecipitur, ut non renuntiet domui discipulus, ut mortuo patri non exhibeat sepulturam? et de sanctis, inquit, non exiet et non contaminabitur sanctificatio dei eius, quia sanctum oleum unctionis a deo super eum est. certe, postquam credimus in Christo et oleo unctionis eius accepto illum portamus in nobis, non debemus exire de templo, id est de proposito Christiano, non foras egredi, incredulitati uidelicet gentilium commisceri, sed esse semper intrinsecus, uoluntati domini ministrare. 5. Haec idcirco, ne ignoratio scripturarum auctoritatem tibi praeberet in luctum et uidereris rationabiliter errare. et adhuc sic locutus sum, quasi unam de turbis conuenerim Christianam. nunc uero, cum sciam toto renuntiasse te mundo et abiectis calcatisque deliciis orationi, ieiuniis, lectioni uacare cotidie, & cum ad exemplum Abraham cupias exire de terra tua et de cognatione tua, ut Chaldaeis et Mesopotamia derelictis terram repromissionis introeas, cum omnem substantiolam aut pauperibus dilargita sis aut filiis ante mortem mundo mortua dederis, miro te ea facere, quae si facerent ceterae, reprehensione dignae uiderentur. redit tibi in memoriam confabulatio eius, blanditiae, sermo, consortium et, cur his careas, pati non potes: ignoscimus matris lacrimis, sed modum quaerimus in dolore. si parentem cogito, non reprehendo, quod plangis; si Christianam et monacham Christianam, istis nominibus mater excluditur. recens uulnus est et adtactus iste, quo blandior, non tam curat, quam exasperat; attamen, quod tempore mitigandum est, cur ratione non uincitur? nam et Noemin famem fugiens in terram Moab et maritum perdidit et filios. et cum suorum esset auxilio destituta, Ruth alienigena ab eius latere non recedit. uide, quanti meriti sit desertae praestitisse solacium: ex eius semine Christus exoritur. respice, Iob quanta sustineat. et uidebis — te nimium delicatam! — erectis in caelum oculis inter ruinam domus, poenas ulceris, innumeras orbitates et ad extremum uxoris insidias inuictam tenuisse patientiam. scio, quid responsura sis: hoc illi quasi iusto ad probationem euenisse. et tu e duobus elige. quid uelis: aut sancta es et probaris, aut peccatrix et iniuste quereris minora sustinens, quam mereris. quid uetera replicem? praesentia exempla sectare. sancta Melanium, nostri temporis inter Christianos uera nobilitas, cum qua tibi dominus mihique concedat in die sua habere partem, calente adhuc mariti corpusculo et necdum humato duos simul filios perdidit. rem sum dicturus incredibilem, sed Christo teste non falsam. quis illam tunc non putaret more lymphatico, sparsis crinibus, ueste conscissa lacerum pectus inuadere? lacrimae gutta non fluxit; stetit inmobilis et ad pedes aduoluta Christi, quasi ipsum teneret, adrisit: 'expeditius tibi seruitura sum, domine, quia tanto me liberasti onere’. Sed forsitan superatur in ceteris? quin immo, qua illos mente contempserit, in unico postea filio probat, cum omni, quam habebat, possessione concessa ingrediente iam hieme Hierosolymam nauigauit. 6. Parce, quaeso, tibi, parce filiae iam cum Christo regnanti, parce saltim Eustochiae tuae, cuius parua adhuc aetas et rudis paene infantia te magistrante dirigitur. saeuit nunc diabolus et, quia cernit unam de tuis liberis triumphantem, obtritum esse se condolens quaerit in remanente uictoriam, quam in praeeunte iam perdidit. grandis in suos pietas inpietas in deum est. Abraham unicum filium laetus interficit et tu unam de pluribus quereris coronatam? non possum sine gemitu eloqui, quod dicturus sum, cum de media pompa funeris exanimem te referrent, hoc inter se populus mussitabat: ‘nonne illud est, quod saepius dicebamus? dolet filiam ieiuniis interfectam, quod non uel de secundo eius matrimonio tenuerit nepotes. quousque genus detestabile monachorum non urbe pellitur, non lapidibus obruitur, non praecipitatur in fluctus? matronam miserabilem seduxerunt, quae quam monacha esse noluerit, hinc probatur, quod nulla gentilium ita suos umquam filios fleuerit’. qualem putas ad istas uoces Christum habuisse tristitiam, quomodo exultasse satanan, qui nunc tuam animam eripere festinans et pii tibi proponens doloris inlecebras, dum ante oculos tuos filiae semper imago uersatur, cupit matrem simul necare uictricis et solitudinem sororis inuadere relictae? non, ut terream, loquor, sed, ut mihi testis est dominus, quasi ante tribunal eius adsistens in haec te uerba conuenio. detestandae sunt istae lacrimae plenae sacrilegio, incredulitate plenissimae, quae non habent modum, quae usque ad uicina mortis accedunt. ululas et exclamitas et quasi quibusdam facibus accensa, quantum in te est, tui semper homicida es. sed ad talem clemens ingreditur Iesus et dicit: ‘quid ploras? non est mortua puella, sed dormit’. rideant circumstantes: ista infidelitas Iudaeorum est. quin, si ad sepulchrum filiae uolueris uolutari, angeli increpabunt: ‘quid quaeris uiuentem cum mortuis?’ quod quia Maria fecerat Magdalene, postquam uocem domini se clamantis agnouit, ad eius prouoluta pedes audiuit: ne tetigeris me; necdum enim ascendi ad patrem meum, id est: ‘non mereris tangere resurgentem, quem mortuum aestimas in sepulchro.’ 7. Quas nunc Blesillam nostram aestimas pati cruces, quae ferre tormenta, quod tibi Christum uideat subiratum? clamat nunc illa lugenti: 'si umquam me amasti, mater, si tua suxi ubera, si tuis instituta sum monitis, ne inuideas gloriae meae, ne hoc agas, ut a nobis in perpetuum separemur. putas esse me solam? habeo pro te Mariam, matrem domini. multas hic uideo, quas ante nesciebam. o quanto melior iste comitatus est! habeo Annam quondam in euangelio prophetantem et, quo magis gaudeas, tantorum annorum laborem ego in tribus mensibus consecuta sum. unam palmam castitatis accepimus. misereris mei, quia mundum reliqui? at ego uestri sortem doleo, quas adhuc saeculi carcer includit, quas cotidie in acie proeliantes nunc ira, nunc auaritia, nunc libido, nunc uariorum incentiua uitiorum pertrahunt ad ruinam. si uis, ut mater mea sis, cura placere Christo, non agnosco matrem meo domino displicentem’. loquitur illa et alia multa, quae taceo, et pro te deum rogat mihique, ut de eius mente securus sum, ueniam inpetrat peccatorum, quod monui, quod hortatus sum, quod inuidiam propinquorum, ut salua esset, excepi. 8.Itaque dum spiritus hos artus regit, dum uitae huius fruimur commeatu, spondeo, promitto, polliceor: illam mea lingua resonabit, illi mei dedicabuntur labores, illi sudabit ingenium. nulla erit pagina, quae non Blesillam sonet. quocumque sermonis nostri monumenta peruenerint, illa cum meis opusculis peregrinabitur. hanc in meam mentem defixam legent uirgines, uiduae, monachi, sacerdotes. breue uitae spatium aeterna memoria pensabit. quae cum Christo uiuit in caelis, in hominum quoque ore uictura est. transiet et praesens aetas, sequentur saecula post futura, quae sine amore, sine inuidia iudicabunt: inter Paulam et Eustochiae nomen media ponetur. numquam in meis moritura est libris. audiet me semper loquentem cum sorore, cum matre.

Historical context:

This letter was occasioned by the death at twenty of Paula's daughter, Blesilla, a young widow who had converted only a few months before from a life of pleasure and wealth to an extremely ascetic life. Jerome tries to stem Paula's grief first by sharing it, then by reproaching it. Though his lesson may be harsh, he is clearly worried that her grief will kill her. Most of the letter is directed to Paula's grief, but at the beginning and the end, Jerome commends Blesilla's holiness and her knowledge of languages, and promises to keep her name alive in his writings. Blesilla had asked Jerome to translate Origen's homilies on the gospels for her, and to do a commentary on Ecclesiastes, which he completed for Paula and Eustochium (CCSL 72).

Printed source:

Sancti Eusebii Hieronymi Epistulae, ed. Isidorus Hilberg, 3 v. (New York: Johnson, 1970, repr. CSEL, 1910-18), 1.293-308, ep.39.

Date:

384